I got lipstick all over Kyle’s suit jacket during our first look.
We forgot to decorate our getaway car.
No one put their photobooth pictures in the guestbook.
Somehow Kyle’s old family pictures never made it to the reception.
I didn’t get a single picture with just my maid of honor and I.
I completely blanked when we got up to give our thank you.
Regret. It’s a terrible feeling to linger on things I cannot change.
I would often dream of my wedding day when I was just a little girl playing with my Barbies. I prayed for my future husband, our marriage, and our wedding day. I couldn’t wait to see what God had in store for me.
As I was reflecting on these memories today, I realized how silly I am being. If God planned out my life and my marriage, he surely had our wedding day under control.
If there were 10 things that went wrong, there are 1,000 things that were perfect and beautiful about that day. Like watching my best friend softly speak his vows to me as joyful tears streamed down his face. Like having our closest family and friends all in one room as we promised to be there for each other…forever. Like becoming Mrs. Leo Kyle Beede. The one thing I’d prayed for daily since I was 16 and head over heels for that boy.
I know it’s difficult not to regret. It’s probably the one thing I’ve struggled with most. Deep regret, for things I cannot change.
I have to remember that when I’m regretting the way certain events unfolded, I’m not being thankful for the immense blessings God has given me, and I’m also not trusting him.
Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. (Philippians 3:13-15)