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Enjoying Patience

Wow, life has gotten crazy. Between working (more than) full-time, being in school full-time, cooking, cleaning, having mono, and being newly married, I feel like I’m living life in a vacuum!

As if everything else wasn’t enough to tire me out.

It’s difficult to sit down and relax for an hour when I’ve got assignments hanging over my head. I can’t take an evening and write when I know there’s dishes and laundry to be done. I want to lay down and take a nap when I get home from work each day, but I can’t spare an hour. Luckily I’ve got a husband who puts in more than his fair share of work around the house, but life has still been incredibly stressful.

Sometimes I wonder how much more of this hectic phase of life I can handle. I try to tell myself that time will pass and it will be over before I know it, yet time seems to be dragging. I want to be finished with school right now and I want us to be settled right now. I want to know what the future holds, and I want to know that things will eventually slow down for us. This “right now” mentality during this in-between stage of craziness and nonstop to-do lists has been eating away at me.

I’m extremely impatient—and through this waiting stage I’ve felt God tugging at me. I’m having to learn that the in-between is okay. Patience is okay. Not knowing is okay. Looking back on the past few years, the bits that I regret most are the moments when I wasn’t savoring the moment. I was worrying about the future instead of enjoying the in-between.

Kyle and I were visiting my 95-year-old great-grandmother the other day and when she asked how I was, I told her that I’ve actually been quite stressed and busy. She got a little smirk on her face and said to me “You may think you hate it now—but I promise you—someday you’ll wish you could go back.”

I’m sure I will. I’m sure someday I’ll read this and wonder what I was thinking. So here’s to enjoying the in-between and trusting God with the rest.

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