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On Marrying Young

The average age for first marriage: 26 for women, 28 for men
50 percent of all marriages end in divorce.
60 percent of all couples who marry between 20 and 25 divorce.

Scary statistics, especially for someone who married even younger than the 20 to 25 range.

Us young wives have quite the battle to fight. I had blog readers (that I didn’t know) go as far as to send me hate mail while we were engaged. They just wanted to let me know that I was young, dumb, immature, and making a huge mistake. They informed me that I didn’t know who I was yet, and my brain wouldn’t mature until I was much older. We family members at our wedding grumbling that it was a huge waste of money to buy plane tickets to our wedding, since there’s no way it would last. It can be truly devastating when even your family doesn’t believe your marriage will last.

My parents got married at 19, just like Kyle and I. They had family members making bets at their wedding–betting on how long they would last. One month, six months, one year. They were going against the odds.

I can tell you this much, my parents have been through a lot. But their perseverance has been such a testimony to me. They never hid the fact that they had struggles in their marriage, and for that I am forever grateful. I am able to enter my young marriage knowing full well that marriage is far from easy, and that through it all it’s possible to come out even stronger.

Marrying young makes marriage even more stressful, but it’s still a very wonderful thing. Yes, we might not “know who we are yet.” We’re both in school, and we’re still trying to figure out where we’re headed in life, but we’re learning and growing together. In a way, we’re growing up together. And with growing comes growing pains. These are the growing pains I witnessed through my parents growing up. I watched them come to them, and I watched them come through them.

To any young wives reading, don’t let yourselves get discouraged by the media. Don’t become weary when others are hateful towards your young love. God has a plan for your marriage, and the best testimony you can give is one of perseverance. Be the 40%.

Comments

  1. We got married at 22. Just passed our 5 years. We plan to throw a party at year 8, after passing the 7 year itch!

  2. Taylor,

    I’m one of the 40 percent that made it. My husband and I got married when I was 19 years old. We celebrated our 27th anniversary in April and we’re more in love now than we’ve ever been. There were people that thought we wouldn’t make it. Even one of our parents asked us to break up and date other people. Our marriage is proof that with Christ you can have a life-long marriage. Jesus is the secret to a strong, fulfilling marriage.

    Blessings to you!

  3. Tayler,

    Oops, sorry that I spelled your name wrong in the last comment.

  4. Catherine says:

    Tayler, As a young wife-to-be you absolutely inspire me. I’ll be 21 on our wedding day and I am more than thrilled to grow up with my best friend, building our lives together – not merging worlds, but constructing one together in Christ.

  5. Lisa says:

    My parents got married at 21 and 23. It’s been almost 37 years for them. My husband and I got married at 21… it will be seven years in April. I can’t imagine getting to know myself in Christ without my husband guiding and helping me! Plus there’s fun to brew had before kids arrive and getting married young leaves lots of time for that, if you wish.

  6. Bob says:

    My wife and I married when I was 21 and she 19. That was 51+ years ago. We loved one another and never considered the possibility of splitting (and we never gave each other reason to consider it.). We became Christians 9 years later and that certainly made our marriage better. It really boils down to how strongly one considers his/her vows.

  7. sandy says:

    My hubby and I married nearly 40 years ago in May. I was 18, but almost 19 and he was 23 not long afterwards. We went to school after having our first daughter. He became a pastor and I taught school before becoming a principal. My parents were married for 56 years before my Daddy died. My mother was 17 when they married. God can keep young marriages together, just as much as marriage at older ages.

  8. Patty says:

    Hello Taylor, I am so glad you followed me on twitter, I really like your blog. I just had to comment on this article. I was 18 and my husband 30 when we married, Like you I had people say I was too young, I had not lived yet and that my husband was too old, it would not last etc… that was 33 yrs ago! .well in a way they were right, I had not lived that is until I married my husband. We had done alot together and raised two beautiful children. We are happy, secure and content in our marriage. Yes, we had our share of problems and we also have a love for God and kept God in the center of our marriage. Would I do it again, you betcha! We compliment each other and today I am who I am because of him and of course God! May your love for your husband only increase as the years go by – and may both of you shine in the glory of God. Blessings – Patty

  9. Kimberly says:

    I couldn’t have agreed with you more !I was 21 when I married my husband . All I got was …what’s wrong with you.? You haven’t lived yet.? You dont know what you want..! Oh and so much more. One thing I’m greatfull for is our family’s are extremely supportive. And our faith in God is what got us throughout every thing. We always make God first then every thing else fall in its place. we are going on 5yrs in march. And I’m more in love with him then ever! Thanks for this post and shinning a light on young marriages : )

  10. Stormie says:

    I was 18 when my husband and I got married. He was 20. This April will be our 2 year anniversary. We had many people in our family who were and probably still are betting against our marriage but we have been blessed with great friends who encourage us tremendously!!

  11. Joshua says:

    MY wife @jenberry and I were married when she was 17, and I was 20. 18 years later things are great! Everyone doubted us, and thought it was a “shotgun” wedding.. we had our first child 8 years later. God Bless! @JoshuaBerryOP

  12. Elizabeth says:

    Tayler,
    Thank you so much for this post and all of your others of encouragement! I am getting married in 105 days and will only be 20 (he’ll be 23). I have met so many discouraging people saying it is dumb to be getting married because I won’t finish my education. My grandmother is even telling my mother that I am ruining my future. However, we both know Christ and know that this is his will for our lives and I couldn’t be happier! I love knowing I’m not the only one still getting married young. Again, Thank You for the encouragement! Keep it coming!!!
    Elizabeth

  13. Chelsa says:

    Tayler, I just found your blog through a link on FB. Just wanted to encourage you and also thank you for the encouragement you are giving to other young wives! I also got married at 19 (my husband was 22). We were also high school sweethearts (started dating when I was 15). We are now heading towards year 8 (in September) and couldn’t be happier. Sure, we have had our rough patches, it hasn’t been easy, but I don’t think it would be easy even if were older when we got married.

    I still love him (more than I did on our wedding day) and he is my best friend. I love that we have such a shared history and that we don’t have a huge time span in our lives before we knew each other. I think it makes it all that much more sepcial! (((HUGS)))

  14. Lissah Jensen says:

    Hi Tayler,

    Thank you so much for your words of encouragement on this blog and Nitty Gritty Love! I just got married a little over a month ago to the live of my life and we’re both 21 and I’m still finishing school. I totally know what you were talking about with family and friends and ppl you didn’t even know coming out of the woodwork telling you you’re too young and making a big mistake. I struggled thru our engagement full of doubt but my husband was sure and unwavering and I’m so thankful to God for that because I know this was the right thing! It’s good to know there are others out there who understand when you find the person you want go spend the rest of your life with and you want that to start as soon as possible.

  15. Rachel says:

    Tayler,
    Thank you so much for posting this. I just got married 4 & 1/2 months ago at the age of 20. My husband is 21, and we have been together since we were 16. We received a lot of criticism, primarily from co-workers who are not believers. It was quite annoying after awhile to continue to recite my explanation for why I was getting married young. We have had a ton of difficulties already, including a grease fire that left my husband out of work for a month, and I just recently lost my job. Even in the midst of this difficulty and craziness, we have grown so much closer together than we already were. I know God has big plans for us and I can’t wait for all the people who thought we would fail to continue to see us together year after year. God bless and I am thankful to have found your blog!

  16. Carol says:

    I just discovered your blog and I’m already a fan! My husband and I are highschool sweethearts too, we started dating when I was 15 and we got married when I was 21. We’ve been married for over 2 years now and I can’t imagine learning about life as a young adult without him! Marriage seemsto come natural … I’ve never felt like marriage itself was terribly difficult, just dealing with what the rest of the world throws at you. I’m so grateful everyday we have the chance to spend many, many years loving and living life together! (and several years pre-baby too!)

  17. Chelsey says:

    I was 20 years and my husband was 24 when we married in April 2012. We started dating with intent to marry when I was 18 and he was 22. Even our pastors were unsupportive of our relationship, saying I had a fragile heart and would not be ready for married. Luckily we both came from families who married young and are still happily married today. We were supported by them every step of the way aside from wanting a general reassurance that we both were sure with our choice. It has been a year and a half and we are currently expecting our first baby boy in February! If I had it to do over again, I actually would have married him at 18 or 19. Why wait on the one you know that the Lord has placed in your life to be your husband. It has had its fair share of struggles but I do not think age has anything to do with whether or not a marriage will succeed. It has everything to do with the individual couple and their belief on what marriage truly means.

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